What to do if a loved one needs counselling

The good news is that if you know someone who clearly needs to deal with their emotional turmoil; counselling may well be just what they need and it may well help.

Now for the bad news, neither you nor anyone can make them step one foot inside a counselling room.

Think about it, no-one likes been told what to do. Telling your loved one they need counselling is never going to have the desired effect. Rather than open them up to the idea it will close them off.

Even if they do decide to go for some talking therapy after been begged by a loved one, they are only really there (for want of a better phrase) to shut you up. Counselling someone whose heart is not in it is very different to counselling someone who is eager to feel better.

Counselling has been known to help people from all walks of life, you don’t need to be a certain type of person to get the benefits from it, you just have to be a little bit willing to want things to change.

People have their reasons for not wanting to have counselling, some people don’t believe in it, some people don’t like talking about themselves, some people may feel judged by the person sitting opposite them and some people are just not ready to look at themselves at that point in their lives.

So as frustrating and painful it is to see someone you love and care for in any kind of mental anguish, you can’t make them go to counselling. So stop trying.

Instead, look to yourself. If you are in any kind of relationship be it, lovers, child/parent, siblings/family/friends where someone is suffering and you think counselling would help them; heed your own advice. Never underestimate the power of a negative person in your life, being close to a person in pain will be having an adverse effect on you.

Seeing a counsellor could help you get things off your chest and learn coping strategies so that you can be calmer in the presence of that loved one who is having a hard time.

So if you know someone who is in need of counselling, that someone could be you.

Get in touch; let’s have a chat to see if I might be the right counsellor for you.