How do I change?

In my role as a Counsellor and Coach, many of my clients will say to me, ‘I know I need to change but I don’t know how. The truth is change can be easy for some people and almost impossible for others. This blog explains how counselling and coaching can help people make small shifts in order to change things in themselves or their life.

 Why is change easy for some and hard for others?

One of my sons hates change. He always has even when he was a toddler. If he was playing with his toy cars and I told him that we were going to the park, he would throw the mother of all tantrums because he didn't want to stop doing what he was doing. When he would finally calm down and we got to the park, he would love it, so much so that he would throw a tantrum as massive as his previous one at the mention of going home.

Some may say that what he displayed was typical toddler behaviour; however, his brother handled change in a completely different way. He would quite happily switch between activities with no huge drama.  In fact, he seemed to relish change and was always open to adventure.


The fact is that some people like change and some people resist it; but change is inevitable nonetheless.

"In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety." Abraham Maslow

 As a counsellor and coach, I'm very often called upon when a person is going through a significant change.

 There are two types of change I tend to see in my role:

 1. Someone who wants to change but doesn't know how; and
2. Someone who has to change and is resisting it.

 How does counselling and coaching work for someone who wants to change but doesn't know how?

When you want to change, it is usually because you have come to the end of your tether and you have had enough with your current situation. People may need to end a relationship, stop a bad habit or quit a job that is causing them anxiety. Whatever the reason, counselling and coaching can help you break down the problem into manageable pieces.

Change takes time and planning, often you need to build up to it.  Change can happen in an instant but more often it’s persistently chipping away at an issue that causes lasting change to occur.

People need time to adjust and come to terms with new situations.

People need time to adjust and come to terms with new situations.

 Working with a counsellor means you can stay on track during a change and not be tempted to give up before you are done or make an excuse and slip back into old ways.

 During the course of working with a client I can help them to see how far they have come and encourage them every step of the way.

How can counselling and coaching work for someone who needs to change but is resisting it?

 Some people have change thrust upon them and find it hard adjusting, sudden unemployment, a partner leaving you for someone else or an unexpected death.

All of these significant life changes can have a devastating effect on people. Counselling and coaching helps a person to process what is going on. Talking problems through with a professional can begin to unravel the knots of confusion and trauma that build up in people's minds at such times.

Change isn’t always easy but it’s often worth it.

Change isn’t always easy but it’s often worth it.

Whatever reason you have for needing help with change, counselling and coaching can be a way to support you through it. Yes, change can seem scary, but it can be dealt with in a way that can make it manageable.

 If you are looking for counselling in Chester or online and you have any questions about how it might work for you contact me here.

Change is inevitable whilst we are living. Whether we like it or not we have to go through it.

What change are you struggling with or putting off?

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